New Season

Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK!!  I feel like it creeped up on me.  My husband’s side of the family will be getting together and we’ll be doing a talent show, so I’m excited to see what everyone will come up with.  I’m eager to be celebrating the holidays with our little baby boy- it makes the holidays that much more special and memorable.  Along with the holidays comes a new season…We transition from fall to winter…We go from celebrating Thanksgiving to celebrating Christmas.  But I’d like to think seasons change in our lives as well.  We transition from childhood to adulthood…Elementary school to middle school…Being single to being married; and a most recent one for me would be becoming a parent.  It’s a change in our lives that sometimes we may not be ready for or one we’re not willing to accept.  I’m going to be transparent with you all and let you in on a new season in my life.  I’m not going to lie, it makes me a little nervous.  My heart is racing as I type this because it makes me emotional, but I know God is in control. He has never failed me or left me so I know I will be alright as long as I keep trusting God.

So, quick background story…I was abused for 5 years by a family member.  I told my parents about it when I turned 21 and they completely supported me when I wanted to get a restraining order on this person.  Unfortunately, because I had no hard evidence of what happened, the judge sent us to a mediator instead so we could come to some agreement.  The agreement was that there would be no communication between both parties, and because we are family members, if we arrived to the same place (birthday party for example) whoever got there second needed to leave.  I made a special request- that this person not come to my church, and he agreed to it.  This agreement was to last 3 years.  This December, in just a couple weeks, that agreement comes to an end and there is a mixture of emotions that overwhelm me when I think about it.  Part of me feels nervous.  During the 3 years he broke the agreement a number of times by coming to the same church I attend.  It always bothered me but I decided not to do anything further (legally) because I knew it was an argument I wouldn’t win and I didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.  Now he’ll be able to come when he pleases and I’d rather not see his face for the rest of my life.  But what can I do…nothing, except trust God.  God has gotten me this far, I know He’s going to keep remaining by my side.  The other part of me makes me feel proud of myself.  I look back at where I was at that point in my life and where I am now, and I see that God has done so much in me.  I thank Him so much for it.

One thing I can say now though, is that I am no longer afraid.  Not because I had the agreement; that was just a piece of paper.  I have a God who loves me and whose protection is greater than any security squad. I leave it all in God’s hands; He is in control. “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.  Many seek the ruler’s favor, but justice comes from the LORD” (Proverbs 29:25 & 26)  I had to learn this the hard way and it was quite difficult for me to understand at first.  I am a different person now, on a new level if you want to say it like that.  I am not where I was 3 years ago.  I used to be scared, just talking about him made me nervous, and I would cry a lot out of anger.  I wanted justice to be served, and justice (in my eyes) wouldn’t have been a pleasant outcome for him.  But I have a different mind set now.  God has instilled a peace in me.  I find comfort in Him that no one or nothing else can provide.  I’ve entered a New Season in my life.  I’m married now…I am a mother (woo hoo!!)…and most importantly, my relationship with God is a lot better than before.  I am not perfect, but with God all things are made new and I feel that way.

I saw this picture a few days ago when I decided to write about this subject, which only confirmed to me that I was worrying for nothing.

“Come to me all those who are weary and I will give you rest”  says the Lord.

I was once in a place where I was weary and giving up, but God came in to my life and took me out of that place.  He’s fought my battles for me so why should I still be freaking out??- He got this!!  Sometimes it’s so hard for us to let go and let God work in our lives, but let’s encourage one another and remind ourselves that God can do all things.

So on that note, I encourage you not to give up.  No matter the situation you are in right now, or how much you want to give up.  God has never left you.  He is patiently waiting for you to invite Him into your heart.  Let Him take your pain and struggles away and replace it with peace and happiness.  He’s done that in my own life, so I know He can do it for you as well.  God bless you all who read this. I hope it’s spoken to you or encouraged you in a special way.